Shalom Zachar


A Shalom Zachar, is a gathering which takes place in Ashkenazi Jewish circles on the first Friday night after a baby boy is born. Although intended to "console" the newborn, the get-together is treated as a happy occasion.

Customs

In current practice, the Shalom Zachar is an informal, drop-in gathering which takes place after the Friday night meal. The location of the gathering is determined by where the father of the new baby spends Shabbat, since he presides over the event. Thus, a Shalom Zachar usually takes place in the home of the newborn, although it may also take place at the home of grandparents, in-laws, or even friends with whom the father is spending Shabbat.
Typically, mainly men and boys drop by to convey their congratulations, to have a bite to eat, to share words of Torah, and to sing songs welcoming the newborn and thanking God for the birth. If the mother is already back home with the baby, female relatives or friends will usually drop by to visit her as well.
Typical light refreshments include cake, cookies, popcorn, pretzels, nuts and seeds, soft drinks, and beer. In addition, chickpeas are customarily served because they are a round-shaped food eaten by mourners. Beer is served as it is cheap and most can afford to buy it.
A Shalom Zachar is not held when this Friday night coincides with the night of Yom Kippur or the night of the Passover Seder. Yom Kippur is a fast day, and therefore all eating and drinking is forbidden. On the night of the Passover Seder, it is forbidden to eat anything after eating the afikomen, which is eaten at the end of the meal. If the Shalom Zachar falls on a Friday night during any other day of Passover, matzah cakes and potato-flour cookies will be served instead of regular flour cakes and cookies.

Brit Yitzchak

do not hold a Shalom Zachar. Instead, their custom is to conduct a gathering called a Brit Yitzchak on the evening preceding the newborn boy's brit milah.