Crunchy Frog


"Crunchy Frog" is the common name for a Monty Python sketch officially titled "Trade Description Act", inspired by the Trade Descriptions Act 1968 in British law. It features two health inspectors interrogating the owner of a candy shop about the increasingly bizarre ingredients in his confections, including the titular crunchy frog. Written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman, it originally appeared in episode 6 of the first series of Monty Python's Flying Circus, and later appeared in several Monty Python stage shows. In the original sketch, Cleese and Chapman play the inspectors, while the candy shop owner is played by Terry Jones. In later versions, the second inspector is played by Terry Gilliam or left out of the sketch entirely.

The sketch

Mr. Milton, the owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company is approached by two members of the Hygiene Squad, Inspector Praline and Superintendent Parrot. The officers confront him about the odd flavours that are used in the "Whizzo Quality Assortment", and cite inadequate descriptions of his products as a violation of the Trade Descriptions Act. They ask him to explain the confection labelled "Crunchy Frog". Milton describes it as an entire frog that has been coated with chocolate, using only "the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose." Circular logic is used to explain why the bones aren't taken out: "If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?"
Other questionable items include the "Cherry Fondue", which is "extremely nasty", but not worthy of prosecution, "Ram's Bladder Cup", "Cockroach Cluster", "Anthrax Ripple", and "Spring Surprise". At the end of the scene Milton is arrested, and the Superintendent, who has been vomiting during the entire conversation, faces the camera and warns the public to "take more care when buying its sweeties".
A later sketch in the same episode features a North American Indian, played in stereotypical fashion by Eric Idle, eating a Crunchy Frog and indicating approval.

Stage and film

The film Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl also contains a performance of this sketch, with Chapman as the Inspector and Terry Gilliam as his assistant. The assistant is now called Constable Clitoris, and while he too periodically leaves the room to fight off his nausea, he remains onstage during his last attack of sickness and vomits into his helmet—which he is then ordered by his superior to put back on his head.
The Monty Python Live stage show features a similar performance, with some small changes to the dialogue - e.g., the Ram's Bladder Cup sweet is now described as having been garnished with mouse faeces rather than lark's vomit - and with Cleese as the Inspector. Jones appears to be reading some of his dialogue from the insert cards in the chocolate box. The televised 20 July 2014 performance includes some fluffs and corpsing, and a moment in which Cleese takes a card from Jones and reads his line for him before announcing "This is me now" and continuing with his own line.

Other appearances