Childrens Hospital

Synopsis

Broadcasting

Cast and characters

• Dr. Blake Downs – he does his job while wearing clown make-up and surgical scrubs painted red to appear bloody. He believes in "the healing power of laughter" instead of medicine. The character's outlook on medicine seems to parody Robin Williams' character in the film Patch Adams. His frightening clown makeup, very similar to the style of serial killer John Wayne Gacy's "Pogo the Clown", often scares the child patients. His status as a clown is frequently likened to a race, and one episode implies that his original name was "Mr. Bojiggles". The character is brutally killed at the end of season 4, but revived at the beginning of season 5; the hospital has a series of cloned clown doctors who are taught Blake Downs's history, so that when one dies, another is activated.
• Dr. Catholomule "Cat" Black – ex-girlfriend of Glenn Richie, who has a thing for her roommate Lola Spratt. Things became awkward between the women after Cat accidentally sneezed on Lola when making a sexual advance on her. She narrated the show during season 1, usually wandering through the hospital, thinking faux-deep thoughts like the characters on Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy. Cat begins dating Little Nicky, a six-year-old boy with advanced aging disease; and she dies giving birth to his child, who also has advanced aging disease. In "The Sultan's Finger," however, it is revealed she didn't die, but somehow lost all her previous medical knowledge. She then regains it and rejoins the main cast beginning with season 3. She briefly takes up nudism at home in "The Black Doctor". In spite of her "thing" with Lola, she rejects Chief's advances in "Ladies' Night". In one episode she reveals that she grew up in Senegal.
• Dr. Glenn Richie – a Jewish doctor and ex-boyfriend of Cat Black. He frequently wears a yarmulke but because of his parents' divorce he never had his bar mitzvah until the episode "Party Down". Dr. Richie is the "playboy" of the hospital, having made out with most of the characters except Sy and Blake. Dr. Richie first appeared in The Ten, which also starred Corddry and was directed by producer David Wain. Sal Viscuso's first PA announcement on the show is a reference to this.
• Dr. Owen Maestro – a dim-witted doctor and Lola Spratt's ex-boyfriend. He is a former New York cop who left the force after 9/11. His former police partner Briggs is constantly trying to convince him to come back to the force.
• Chief – the disabled head of the hospital's staff who initially uses crutches to allow her to walk, before switching to a walker in the Season 2 premiere. The male staff members at the hospital often make remarks about their sexual attraction to her. In spite of her Choctaw Indian heritage, her name came from the fact that her mother saw it in a Scrabble board and chose it over "whore". She is a parody of Dr. Kerry Weaver of ER and Dr. Gregory House from House. She had a crush on Sy Mittleman but she publicly acts like she hates him so that the staff thinks she's on their side in the struggle against him; they finally get together in the episode "Hot Enough For You?" but no reference has been made to this ever since. In a Season 2 episode, Lizzy Caplan plays The Chief's daughter, who has her own real estate business. In one of the original webisodes, the doctors heal her crippling illness and she is inexplicably transformed into a younger, more beautiful woman.
• Dr. Lola Adolf Spratt – Cat's roommate and Owen Maestro's ex-girlfriend. Cat is obsessed with her. Lola broke up with Owen by pretending she had a tumor, but he began to believe she was serious. Lola faked her death at the end of season 1 because she broke down after getting too many e-mails. She reappears at the hospital in season 2, but no one understands when she explains she faked her death and they all think she is a ghost. When she finally proves she's not a ghost, she reveals she's a gifted ventriloquist, having pretended to die on the operating table by using a long hum simulating a flat-line sound. She is also an attorney since she had "no pets, no friends, no TV" and passed the bar exam the previous summer, as mentioned in "Childrens Lawspital". She narrated the show in its third season. As she revealed in season 2 episode 9, she is a Muslim.
• Dr. Valerie Flame –, replaces Cat after her death in the second episode of season 2, taking over the duties of narrating the show until the third-season premiere, when she is replaced by Lola Spratt. Her secret identity is that of Derrick Childrens. She has a "love-to-hate" relationship with Blake, raping him in "Hot Enough For You?" and punching him several times in "A Kid Walks into the Hospital" when she declares her love for him by "doing really weird things" to his mind. She was attracted to Cat when she took up nudism in "The Black Doctor" and was briefly the love interest of Dr. Brian.
• Sy Mittleman –, is the administrator. He runs the insurance company that owns the hospital. He collects butterflies and seems to have a sexual obsession with them. He is the object of much scorn from the staff who dismiss him as "a suit" despite the fact he genuinely cares for the patients and the hospital. Mittleman frequently has to resist The Chief's come-ons. He is happily married with children and has no desire to begin a sexual relationship with her, but he eventually gives in to her advances in the episode "Hot Enough for You?", although this has never been mentioned since. He was an assassin whose daughter tried and failed to kill him in "A Kid Walks into a Hospital".
• Nurse Dori –, Nicky's mother, who does not approve of Cat's relationship with her son. After Little Nicky's death she becomes a nurse at Childrens. She was pregnant in season 3 with the father of the child being unknown until "A Year in the Life" when it was revealed to be Blake.
• Chet Mandvanteussen –, the creepy paramedic who has a crush on Chief.

  Recurring

• Sal Viscuso – ; Michael Andrew Stock in "Attention Staff", the hospital staffer who speaks over the intercom. He typically speaks one line per episode, usually a non sequitur. The character name is a homage to the actor Sal Viscuso, who voiced the unseen P.A. announcer in the TV series M*A*S*H. Cera was finally shown in the episode, "Attention Staff'", as a young boy whose aging process has stopped.
• Nurse Beth – ; a nurse at the hospital, a wide-eyed Ingénue who also writes her own fan fiction.
• Officer Chance Briggs – Owen Maestro's former partner, a mustachioed New York city cop.
• Little Nicky –, a little boy with a rare aging disease, and later the father of Dr. Black's unborn child. Little Nicky takes on the tendencies of an old man once his disease reaches advanced stages. The disease takes his life in season two. Kroll also portrays Dr. Black's son, who is also suffering from the aging disease.
• Dr. Jason Mantzoukas and Dr. Ed Helms –, two doctors who usually appear together and make sexual remarks about The Chief.
• Dr. Max Von Sydow –, a doctor who tries to cure The Chief's condition.
• Dr. Nate Schacter –, another clown doctor with whom Dr. Blake Downs develops a rivalry.
• Ben Hayflick –, head of the National Division of Health who is trying to suppress Dr. Richie's cancer cure so that his organization doesn't lose all the money it gets for cancer research; based on the Cigarette Man from the X-Files.
• Derrick Childrens –, the son of the founder of Childrens Hospital and secret identity of Valerie Flame. Jon Hamm also plays young Arthur Childrens in flashbacks.
• Dr. Brian –, a black bisexual doctor who left several years ago to consult on Marlon Wayans' show, Black Hospital, he has recently returned to Childrens Hospital. His catchphrase is "Righteous!"
• Nurse Kulap –, one of the nurses at Childrens, most often seen assisting Owen and Glenn in the operating room.
• Arthur Childrens – , Founder of Childrens Hospital. He only appeared in the 1970s and then stopped making appearances. He originated the quote, "I believe the Childrens are our future."
• Rabbi Jewy McJewJew –, Dr. Richie's rival from Hebrew school, and the Childrens Hospital chaplain.
• Louis LaFonda –, host of Newsreaders, a TV news magazine, he covers the "real-life" developments on the set of Childrens Hospital, and the status of the "real" actors on the show, the episodes of which essentially treat Childrens Hospital as a show within a show. He, like Dr. Richie, first appeared in The Ten. Newsreaders was spun off as its own show on Adult Swim in 2013.

  "Behind the scenes"

• Cutter Spindell as Blake Downs. When Spindell is introduced, he is the only cast member who enjoys working on the show, and spearheads a campaign to save it from cancelation. Spindell is killed in an accident on set at the end of season 4, and is replaced by his identical twin brother Rory Spindell, a film and stage actor who is loathed by the other performers on the show.
• Dixie Peters, legal name Cynthia Quelson, as Cat Black. Peters is a pretentious actress who is fond of unusual makeup and who has an enormous photograph of herself in her dressing room. She marries series director David Wain, but cheats on him with fellow cast member Just Falcon, and the couple eventually divorces. She and cast member Lynn Williams have a long-standing rivalry over their roles in the show and their complicated relationships with director David Wain.
• Just Falcon as Glenn Richie. Falcon is a deeply eccentric man with little ability to relate to other people. He has a long and tumultuous relationship with David Wain, although Falcon is completely unaware of the strife and considers Wain a close friend. Falcon wears a long beard, which is covered up to film the show. Falcon is largely a parody of Joaquin Phoenix in I'm Still Here.
• Rob Huebel as Owen Maestro. The pronunciation and spelling of Huebel's name changes from episode to episode. Huebel is a flamboyant gay man whose tastes in fashion and facial hair run towards the 1970s. He is rarely seen without a drink in his hand, and often throws glitter into the air after making a big announcement.
• Lady Jane Bentick-Smith as Chief. Bentick-Smith is an affable English woman, and apparently a member of the British aristocracy. She has a long history of theater work, and much of her dialogue consists of nonsensical Britishisms.
• Lynn Williams as Lola Spratt. Williams is vain and locked in a constant rivalry with co-star Dixie Peters. When not on camera, she sports a thick unibrow, which she describes as "honest".
• Ingrid Hagerstown as Valerie Flame. Hagerstown is a native Swedish speaker, has virtually no knowledge of English, and learns her lines phonetically. She seems to have little relationship with her coworkers, referring to Cutter Spindell as "the man who plays the clown".
• Fred Nunley as Sy Mittleman. Nunley is a character actor who has been brought in to revive several failing television shows, although never successfully. He has a pathological hatred of children; when he gets a spinoff series that partners him with several child costars, he requests that the producers film their scenes separately and digitally insert his image into the footage of the children.
• Glarion Rudge as Nurse Dori. She is a former lover of David Wain's; his continuing attraction to her is not requited.
• Mark Splorn as Chet Mandvanteussen. Mark is revealed to be having an affair with Dixie's mother during Glenn's photography exhibit.
• Melinda Waller as Nurse Beth. The actress that plays Nurse Beth.
• David Wain as Rabbi Jewy McJewJew. Wain is the series director and has had relationships with Peters, Williams, and Rudge. He has worked with Just Falcon for decades, but views Falcon's work with other directors as a betrayal and seeks to sabotage him, culminating in an incident in which Wain purposely leaves bullets in a gun for a scene in which Falcon's character is to play Russian roulette. He creates the character of McJewJew, who steals Glenn Richie's love interests, in a failed attempt to antagonize the oblivious Falcon.

  Episodes

Production

Reception

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